On The Fence About Having Another Kid?

Well Ladies, some good news happened to me when my sister-in-law got hitched about two weeks ago. The pressure from my in-laws to have another child was finally lifted off of my head, and so nicely placed upon my sis-in-law’s precious head.

People say, “Have another baby. Try for a GIRL. C’mom. You can do it. I heard there’s ways. You have sex before you ovulate. Missionary position. Oh ya, and don’t forget to douche.”

WTF! Douche? The only douche I’ve ever taken in my life is the “douche” I take every morning— “a shower” in French!

So, truth be told, (and my friends know this all too well), I would NEVER have a third child, unless I could produce a dancing pink ballerina. With pink Burberry dresses. And pig tails. Or braids. Did I mention pink? I would NEVER get pregnant to have a third boy. This would actually necessitate my husband putting me in a loony bin. “Honey, just don’t forget to pack my Ipod!”

As it stands now, I am the family referee. It’s Thing 1 vs. Thing 2. It’s 6 year old vs. 2 year old, and let me tell you, my 2 year old can kick the sh&t out of any 6 year old! He’s fierce. He’s persistent… like me. And he’s a ball of energy… also like me.

But the truth is, all jokes aside, I’m in love with my family. I feel a tremendous sense of happiness and contentment with my two boys. I love it. It works. Two parents on the run grab two kids, and out the door you go in no time. I feel no desire whatsoever to put my head back in the toilet and puke for another nine months, and then be woken in the night to hear that piecing “Waaa, waaa, waaa.” I do however miss McDonald’s five days a week. That was HEAVEN ON EARTH! It went something like: eat a few bites of a quarter pounder, throw up, eat a few more bites, a couple of fries, a few sips of coke, throw up, and then finish the meal. I was a pro.

But, is it selfish that I’m just not on the fence about having another kid? I don’t think so. I grew up an only child, and the fact that I have two children is like having four for me. I grew up in a very quiet house. It was my just my mom and I. My dad was always traveling, and we did everything together. I was used to the quiet, and contrary to probably most women, I enjoy the quiet. I don’t enjoy chaos. I really don’t. That’s not to say I don’t love having people over or around. I do. I’m the biggest people-person you’ll ever meet and I love when my house is full of family and friends. I’m very sociable. It’s just that I also enjoy the quiet I grew up with. At the end of the day, I’m still an only-child loner.