My 5yo just told me our house is a dump. I was hoping he’d be at least seven before he realized that.
— AstronAmy (@SpacePlankton) February 20, 2014
Always scared that the white noise machine over the baby monitor is going to start delivering messages from the dead like that movie.
— Bunmi Laditan (@BunmiLaditan) February 18, 2014
When I boast to my wife that I’m better at loading the dishwasher, I can’t help feeling that tho I may have won a battle, I’ve lost the war.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 19, 2014
My daughter just asked to see Ramen Hood. Presumably about a guy who steals noodles from the rich….
— Liz Gumbinner (@Mom101) February 19, 2014
“Moooooommmmm. Dad’s mocking me in silence again!” – my narc 5-year-old. #dads
— daddyfiles (@DaddyFiles) February 17, 2014
One day people will sing songs and write poems about the god damned epic battle I just had with my 7yo about the correct answer to 7×7.
— Minivan (@my_minivan_life) February 19, 2014
Stickers were sent by the devil to keep me from having nice things.
— SnuggleMummy (@NinsMum) February 17, 2014
My son just said, “I just, totally, like, totally, um…” And then I moved my whole family out of California for the rest of their lives.
— charliecapen (@charliecapen) February 19, 2014
I like to play this fun game with parenting where I try to shove an entire Reese’s heart in my mouth before the kids get into the kitchen.
— Martinis & Minivans (@martinisandmini) February 19, 2014
I’m not above googling horrifying photos of dreadlocks to get Anna to brush her hair.
— Suburban Snapshots (@SuburbanSnaps) February 18, 2014
I find the best way to improve a rough day is to run face-first into a door like I just did. Really makes everything else pale in comparison
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) February 17, 2014
Kids at the American Museum of Natural History at 4pm have pretty much the same expression & demeanor of drunk adults on the subway at 2am.
— Amy Shearn (@amyshearn) February 19, 2014
