The world of dating seems more complicated than ever. It is ironic that while the development of online communications has made the world smaller, communication has also become more complicated. For example, when asking someone out on a date, is it appropriate to text message or should one call? Should a woman refrain from giving out her instant messenger or yahoo messenger ID on the first date? What about these online dating services? Are they really all they are cracked up to be? Can you fall in love with someone on the Internet? Dating advice for women needs to come with a troubleshooting handbook to cover all the details that come with being in the 21st century.
Text Messages
Text messages are great ways to connect without saying too much. They are great for flirting and can even be used to confirm details, but unless a couple has been dating awhile, they should never be used to ask someone out. In fact, the impact of text messaging on dating is a generational one. Teenagers are more likely to use text messaging to keep in touch with their friends and love interests, set up appointments and make dates. Couples in their 20s and 30s are more likely to use text message for quick notes than for communication or making plans. So if looking for a good rule of thumb, ask for dates over the phone or in person, leave text messages for flirty notes and confirmations.
Body Language
Men are not women. Say again: Men are not women. Non-verbal communication is very important, and learning to understand a man’s body language begins by not assuming he is communicating like a woman. Women lean forward when they are interested in what someone has to say, men focus their gaze. When a man stares steadily at a woman, he’s interested in what she is saying and what she is doing. Men are far more visual than women, so his non-verbal cues that he is interested are going to be more visual. If he’s making strong eye contact while you’re talking, then yes, the body language says he’s interested and wants to know more.
Chatty Kathys
It’s a stereotype that women are talkers; men can be just as talkative. Beware the man who competes with every story that’s told. If someone tells a story about a ticket they got once, he’s got two stories and his are bigger, better and funnier. Beware of this guy, because he’s a little insecure. He’s talking sometimes just to fill the silences and because he worries that if he’s not entertaining, that others will lose interest. While he may be a charming, fun and entertaining guy, he can also take a lot of ego stroking to keep happy.
Should I use dating services?
No easy answer exists for this question. Dating services have a track record for making matches, or at least getting the ball rolling. Modern women are very busy, and using a dating service might help them cut down on the amount of time that they need to invest to meet potential dates.
Services like eHarmony do the matching for the potential dating prospects and then present the matched candidates. According to their advertising materials, they have a good track record for making love matches and they offer some financial guarantees. If going the dating service route, stick to the reputable dating services, and if the offers seem too good to be true, they probably are. Don’t forget to always practice safety and caution when meeting anyone for the first time.
How Many Dates
One mistake that women make when launching a new relationship is immediately establishing the criteria that the man must meet to determine if he is “the one.” Women who start a relationship with this high expectation are inevitably doomed to disappointment. A relationship between a man and a woman cannot be measured in number of dates. For some couples, it happens in one date and for others it can take a year or more. If a woman doesn’t let a relationship evolve naturally through the stages, but constantly measures his level of interest, it will cripple the relationship. Beware projecting expectations on others–women who do this run the risk of falling in love with love and not with the man they are dating, which is not fair to either person.
Dating should be about two people spending time together and enjoying each other. It should be about exploring shared interests and developing new ones. Dating should be about companionship and becoming friends. If romance blossoms, that makes the dating that much sweeter.
