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How to Raise a Polite Child

Tip #7 – Respecting Others Differences

People come in all shapes, sizes, colors and personalities. Polite children are respectful children. They respect and accept that everyone is not just like them.

Helping a child to understand that it is not nice to make fun or judge others for these differences will be a lesson they will remember forever. Kids can be mean, especially when they are testing their independence and voice. Yes, we cannot always be with our children to filter what comes out of the mouths, but we can give them the tools to know the difference between talking and being indiscreet and cruel.

When your child tells you something mean he heard, take the time to explain why it is not nice to say things such as this. Getting kids to think further on this is a wonderful way for them to truly understand the principle of thinking before they speak.

Tip #8 – Eating like Little Ladies & Gentlemen

If there is one lesson you have probably learned as a parent, it is to expect that the most embarrassing moments to occur at the most inappropriate times!  Many of these mishaps seem to happen at the table.  So, when your toddler says or does something that makes you and your husband appear as if you have absolutely no idea what table manners are, say to yourself, ”Don’t worry, it’s my rite of passage as a parent” (and of course, such toddler faux pas make for great dinner party conversation). 

With that in mind, I am a firm believer that your child is never too young to begin learning the basics.  The dining table will be the setting for many important happenings in your child’s life.  It may, one day, be the setting for meeting his girlfriend’s parents for the first time, a lunch with a potential employer or a dinner with upper management at the office holiday party.  No matter what the occasion, knowing how to navigate his way through a meal will tremendously benefit your child.  Most children will master these dining skills by age five, but you should start teaching them around the age of two.  Of course, there will be some exceptions to this, but as your toddler grows and matures, the more difficult dining skills can be taught and mastered.

Thus, these are only a few ways to help raise a more polite, thoughtful and generous child.

If we want to give them the gift of politeness, we must truly ask ourselves if we are taking the time and making the effort to help them acquire these skills.

So, the next time at the supermarket, when our child is flailing away, knocking down cereal boxes, and shooting dirty looks to other shoppers, we must ask ourselves, “Am I doing everything I can to help teach my child to do what is right and be polite?”

And remember, being polite is something that will make them stand out and stand apart -- in a good way!

Melissa has been wowing clients and readers over the past few years with her fun and dynamic approach to the so-called 'stuffy' world of etiquette. After having two children (well behaved, of course!), Melissa took her innovative style of teaching business etiquette and tailored programs for children, parents and yes, even yachting enthusiasts. Her distinctive style and sense of humor has helped put manners back into the 'in-crowd'.

As a parent and adult, you probably encounter sticky situations every day. From a nosy neighbor invading on your privacy to in-laws who drop in at the worst possible times, from dealing with those rude strangers, to getting your kids to do what their told.

No matter what your dilemma is, our resident etiquette expert Melissa is here to help turn your problem into a solution. If you wish to be anonymous, just tell us in your email. Email her at

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