Ask Jill & Jennifer - Modern Mom's Sleep Experts

I have 2 1/2 boy/girl twins. They have just transitioned into "big girl" and "big boy" beds - their cribs convert into toddler beds. The main reason for doing this now was that my son had been basically vaulting out of his crib for the past 2-3 weeks. He never hurt himself, he just wasn't staying in the crib. Since they live in the same room, we decided to move my daughter out of her crib as well.

So the deed is now done. We bought "big" kid bedding, did the song and dance for about a week beforehand on how great this would be. They were all excited. The first night wasn't so bad, there was a lot of getting up and out of bed and such, but since then we've had a hard time keeping them in their beds, especially my son. The good thing is once they are asleep, they stay asleep - no late night visits to mommy and daddy's room (as of yet). We've also had a reluctance to take naps now. Any words of wisdom to help us get them back on a good sleeping routine. They have always been great sleepers and I'd love to keep them that way!

Thanks - Venessa W.

Hi Venessa,

The transition to a big bed is quite often a bit tricky. At the age of two, most children don't yet have very good self-regulatory abilities and have a difficult time staying put once it's bedtime. However, it's important for parents to communicate very clearly that once it's time for bed, there will be no more playing around. What's important here is giving your children a sense of control before bedtime. During your wind-down routine, offer your kids some choices. "Which PJ's would you like to wear? The blue or the green ones?" "Which 2 books would you like to read? Goodnight Moon or Time for Bed?" When given some control prior to sleep time, children feel more willing to go along with your program when choice time ends.

Another great tool for helping kids stay in bed is to make a little "stick figure" book about bedtime. Make a book telling the story of how they moved from their cribs to beds. Walk through the bedtime routine as it usually occurs. "First, we'll brush teeth." "Next we'll read books." "Then we'll have some cuddle time" "Last, it will be time to go to bed. Once Mommy and Daddy say goodnight, you need to stay in bed until the sun comes up." This allows your children to have predictability in their routine and know what your expectations are once the routine is complete.

If your son leaves the room, calmly walk him back to bed (this may need to happen 60 times on the first night!) Don't converse with him while you walk him back. Just keep returning him to his bed saying "It's time for bed." If he realizes you will not cave in and give him more stories, juice or cuddle time, he'll ultimately stop testing you. Be careful not to give in even once! One time is enough to cause confusion and ongoing testing for much longer than necessary.

If your daughter is having a difficult time with her brother testing the limits during the first few nights, you may have to move her to another sleep location temporarily until you've ironed out the problems with your son. Although it may not seem ideal, it may be necessary until you've helped him learn to stay in bed.

Last and most importantly, when your son sleeps through the night and wakes in the morning, congratulate him for a job well done! Call his Grandma or tell the guy at the supermarket that he did such a great job staying in his bed the night before. Kids ultimately feel really proud of their accomplishment!

Good luck!