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Ask Jill & Jennifer - Modern Mom's Sleep Experts

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Dear Jill & Jennifer -

I have a year-old son. He sleeps through the night like a champ – usually 11-12 hours. We put him down around 7 p.m. He doesn’t cry or fuss at all when we put him down – he just goes to sleep like a little angel.

The problem is with nap-time. Starting when he was a newborn, we have always held him for naps. We tried to start putting him in his crib for naps when he was 4 months old, but he would cry and cry, getting himself more and more worked up until he was hysterical, although we would do the check-in in 5, 10, and 15 minute intervals. After about 30-45 minutes of this, we would remove him from the crib and hold him for the nap. We would try this for a day or two and then I would give up because he just would not go to sleep. I would wait a month or two and try again, with the same result.

Now that he’s one, we really feel he should be napping in his crib, but don’t know how to make it happen without all the hysteria. Help!! - Chris

Jill & Jennifer says, Hi Chris,

like it's time to give independent naps another try! Make sure that you schedule your child's sleep appropriately. Although most children at the age of one are still taking two naps, they generally begin to slide later in the day. So if he has been napping (with your help) at 9 and 2, it's time to move the naps back incrementally, to say 10 and 3 pm. You'll know it's time to go to one nap when he resists the 2nd completely or when that nap is getting too close to bedtime. (For a complete description of appropriate sleep schedules for children as they grow, please go to our site at sleepeasysolution.com and click on "tips and tools".

As far as trying to put him down awake, if he can accomplish putting himself to sleep at night, he already has the skill of self-soothing to sleep. That's a wonderful skill to have! He may have a strong reaction when you try to put him down awake during the day, but he's able to use his same skills to put himself to sleep if you encourage him properly. Ideally you'll want to go to his room about 10 minutes before naptime and wind him down, doing some calming activities similar to your nighttime routine. Once he's calm, tell him that it's time to take a nap and that he's going to learn to put himself to sleep. Put him in the crib and leave the room. If he cries, it may be better not to check in too frequently during the nap, as toddlers who see mom or dad pop in for a visit will often become more aggravated than if they didn't see them in the first place. Try to spread your checks to every 20 minutes and give him about an hour to try to fall asleep. If he's unable to sleep, go to him at the hour marker, pick him up and give him lots of kisses and praise. Try to get him a little sleep via a car drive or stroller ride to take the edge off of his fatigue. Then you can try again in the crib later in the day for nap 2. If you stay consistent for several days, he should begin to get the hang of it.

While working on nap learning, make sure to play in his room frequently during the day so it doesn't only become the "separation chamber" but is also a place where he feels comfortable and happy during the course of the day. Stay positive too! He can sense your feelings around this experience, so you'll want to send lots of good energy his way!!

Best of luck!

September 29, 2008
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