Ask Melissa - Our Etiquette Savvy Mom

Question: I recently sent an email to a mother at my daughter’s school, asking if her daughter would like to come over for a playdate. Although this mother is sort of cliquey, I know our girls get along very well at school and have become friends. She replied, but I don’t think the email was intended for my eyes. Here is the thing, the email was meant for her good friend (whose name was on the TO line), but she must have forgotten to take my name off. The email wasn’t very nice and was basically putting me down for not being part of her clique and asking her friend if she should just give in and let our daughters play. I was mortified and don’t know if she realized that she left my name on the email. Should I respond or just wait for her to contact me? Help!

-Justine

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Question: I had a baby three months ago, but have been totally overwhelmed with caring for my new son, trying to keep to a schedule as well as doing everyday responsibilities and chores.  I have been meaning to write thank you notes for all the baby gifts I received, but can't seem to find the time, nor do I have the energy.  Is it acceptable to call and thank my friends for the great baby gifts? - Clair, PA

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Question: My second grade son has already received 6 birthday party invitations from his classmates. He has gone to 3 and been unable to attend 3. His birthday is coming up in March and I would rather not invite the entire class. It seems that everyone invites the whole class to their parties, but my son isn't friends with all the kids in his class. Can I invite some children from his class only? What are the rules? - Kate, MA

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Question: My 3 year old son is extremely allergic to nuts to the point that we have had to rush him to the hospital on numerous occasions. Which brings me to my dilemma: My friend is having some kids & moms over for a little lunch party and we were invited. Happily, I accepted the invitation and then received a disturbing phone call a few days later. The mother who is hosting the party informed me that she would be serving peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and that she wasn't going to keep the other kids from their favorite food. I thought this was extremely rude and didn't know how to respond. I just feel like she is being very insensitive and unkind. What should I do?

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Question: I have a single mom neighbor, Sally, who is just around too much. She often drops in with her daughter at dinnertime, expecting to be fed and entertained. We don't have that much in common with her -- she doesn't read books, she thrives on celebrity gossip, and she's always on a manhunt.

But she's decided that we are her friends and we feel stuck. Now she has this new man in her life. He's pretty much her male equivalent! We just have nothing to say to him. But Sally wants us to all spend time with him. She even insisted that the four of us share Valentine's Day dinner.

How can we get across the message that we want to be alone on Valentine's Day? And for the future, how can we politely distance ourselves and stop her from dropping in all the time, without feeling embarrassed anytime we run into her at the neighborhood Starbucks?

Thanks for your help!

Kay, Los Angeles, CA

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