Ask Melissa - Our Etiquette Savvy Mom

Question: I recently sent an email to a mother at my daughter’s school, asking if her daughter would like to come over for a playdate. Although this mother is sort of cliquey, I know our girls get along very well at school and have become friends. She replied, but I don’t think the email was intended for my eyes. Here is the thing, the email was meant for her good friend (whose name was on the TO line), but she must have forgotten to take my name off. The email wasn’t very nice and was basically putting me down for not being part of her clique and asking her friend if she should just give in and let our daughters play. I was mortified and don’t know if she realized that she left my name on the email. Should I respond or just wait for her to contact me? Help!

-Justine

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Question: My 3 year old son is extremely allergic to nuts to the point that we have had to rush him to the hospital on numerous occasions. Which brings me to my dilemma: My friend is having some kids & moms over for a little lunch party and we were invited. Happily, I accepted the invitation and then received a disturbing phone call a few days later. The mother who is hosting the party informed me that she would be serving peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and that she wasn't going to keep the other kids from their favorite food. I thought this was extremely rude and didn't know how to respond. I just feel like she is being very insensitive and unkind. What should I do?

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Question: I pick up my children at school each afternoon. As we all wait for dismissal, most moms form clusters and have brief friendly chats with each other. Herein lies the problem: I notice that sometimes when I am talking to another mom, someone else walking by will catch her eye and even if I am mid-sentence, she turns around, walks away and begins a conversation with the other mother. It's like I am not even there. I feel very slighted and want to scream. How should I handle this?  - Perturbed, Rye, NY

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Question: I'm involved in a group of women who get together once a week for a playgroup. Two of the women in the group are obsessed with the births of their children. They talk about the births of their babies (in gory detail) every time we meet -- and they go on and on about their breastfeeding.

Until last night, I could handle the continued focus on childbirth. We all went out to a nice restaurant for a "Mom's Night Out" and these two women dominated the conversation 75% of time still talking about their births, their breastfeeding, etc. They also talked poorly of moms they knew who weren't breastfeeding or didn't have a natural birth. Hello! Some of the women in the group who were at the same table at dinner weren't breastfeeding and had had C-sections!

I'm torn because I like these women when they talk about other things, and I don't want to create conflict by telling them I'm uncomfortable hearing them talk about their birth experience since they obviously love to discuss it so much. Help!

- Mom of twins who had a C-section and only breastfed for 3 months

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Question: My second grade son has already received 6 birthday party invitations from his classmates. He has gone to 3 and been unable to attend 3. His birthday is coming up in March and I would rather not invite the entire class. It seems that everyone invites the whole class to their parties, but my son isn't friends with all the kids in his class. Can I invite some children from his class only? What are the rules? - Kate, MA

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