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Ask Melissa - Our Etiquette Savvy Mom

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Dear Melissa Leonard - I pick up my children at school each afternoon. As we all wait for dismissal, most moms form clusters and have brief friendly chats with each other. Herein lies the problem: I notice that sometimes when I am talking to another mom, someone else walking by will catch her eye and even if I am mid-sentence, she turns around, walks away and begins a conversation with the other mother. It's like I am not even there. I feel very slighted and want to scream. How should I handle this?  - Perturbed, Rye, NY
Melissa Leonard says,

Dear Perturbed -

I hear this complaint often and this is indeed a pet peeve of mine. You have every reason to be perturbed and I am sure most mothers have experienced this sort of snubbing. Shame on those who are too flighty to finish a conversation!

This 'schoolyard' behavior is just that. Let's look at the big picture: moms who are mere acquaintances or strangers with each other are gathering for a few minutes, making small superficial talk. You know who your true friends are and find those with whom you are comfortable chatting. Some moms want to be a part of the 'cool clique' and if someone better comes along, they are off and running. They are like little ants scurrying for the best crumbs. Rather than screaming at them, pity them! 

I would not suggest cornering them and chastising them about their behavior. When this happens, I would simply walk way. If they are not polite enough to seek you out and apologize for cutting you off, then they are not worth your time!

August 12, 2008
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